There are many faces I loathe to gaze upon in the mirror.
The shame that accompanies a lie, so easily believed.
Congratulatory well wishes for something you did not do.
Guilt for an action or thought so untrue to character.
These faces, those eyes, so unknown to me, yet still me.
I face them. I gaze upon them. I learn from them.
I look deep into the abyss I created with the shame, guilt,or lies
and I face that demon.
It is still I.
Just an eye I prefer not to look upon.
But defeat.
That is a face I cannot gaze upon.
It is an admittance of failure. A fight you did not even try to win.
A fight you quit.
You are a quitter.
A loser by default.
Causing defeat in another is someone I can face in the mirror.
Why did I stoop that low, why could I not be a fair opponent.
I learn, I grow, I resolve to not do it again.
But to be defeated?
I do not have to look into the mirror to know that face.
I choose not to.
The world around me knows that face, but I do not.
I know what it looks like.
My inner being knows. It feels it deeper.
Deeper then guilt.
Deeper then shame.
Self-loathing.
That is a face I cannot gaze upon.
My eyes reveal hatred.
Hatred for the face in the mirror.
Hatred for the inner resolve to be a quitter.
Defeated I stand in a mirror-less room.
Hoping for darkness to take away any chance of reflection.
Self-reflection is the only hope for this face.
